Friday, 23 January 2015

Script Writing - Second Draft

 Script 2nd Draft. Formatting and structure has changed when uploading onto Blogger, the format and structure in the original PDF is correct.


















IDEA 2



Written by John Hartill
































1                HANKS HOUSE. BEDROOM. INT. LATE EVENING.

JOHN is having sex with ADA in bed. They climax and JOHN slowly climbs off and lays next to her on the bed, they're both breathing heavily. JOHN reaches other to the bedside table, takes a cigarette out the pack and places it in his mouth.

ADA
You don’t have time for one Honey.
Aren't you picking Hank and Al up
from snooker tonight?

JOHN puts the cigarette back in the box, checks his watch, Lifts up and gets out of the bed. ADA stays in bed.

JOHN
Better get going then, I told Lucy
I will be home by nine tonight
anyway.

ADA
Hank will kill us both if he
catches us. And Al will probably do
worse. He has always been a bit off
the rails ever since he was child.

JOHN starts to get his clothes back on.

JOHN
I know, he can be a... problem.
Hank’s a good friend...

ADA
-But a lousy Husband. That’s why I
need a real man; like you John.

JOHN goes to leave the bedroom

JOHN
Take care Ada. I will see you soon.


2                SNOOKER CLUB. EXT. LATE EVENING.

JOHN is waiting in the car park, with the engine still running. HANK and AL come out of the snooker clubs main entrance and head towards the car. HANK gets in the front, and AL jumps into the back. HANK has a smile on his face.

JOHN
Judging by that, I’d say you won
tonight?



HANK
Oh yes, sixteen players, last man
standing.

JOHN
How about you AL?

JOHN sets off and pull onto the main road. AL folds his arms and looks out the window

JOHN (CONT’D)
That bad huh? You going to Hanks?

AL

Yeh.




JOHN

Ok, not a problem, I’m not stopping though Hank, I told Lucy I would be home for nine.

HANK
You still trying to conceive? It’s
been some time now hasn’t it?

JOHN
Yeh... anyway...

ONE HOUR LATER


3                JOHN’S HOUSE. BEDROOM. INT. NIGHT.

The room is littered with lots of candles which are situated on the bed side tables, chest of drawers etc. A double bed donned with petals above the sheets.

JOHN and LUCY are under the sheets and having sex, in the missionary position. LUCY’S hands are tightly grasped on JOHNS’S shoulders. They keep eye contact during sex with their heads close to each other when they are not kissing.

LUCY
I’m so glad you came home early-

JOHN
I know my Angel, I couldn't wait.

LUCY
I want you... I need you...

Their movements are slow as they breath hard at climax. JOHN kisses her




LUCY (CONT’D)
I love you,

They both smile at each other

JOHN
I love you too,












THREE DAYS LATER



4                BAR. INT. NIGHT.

JOHN, HANK and AL are sat at a table with a beer each. Keeping to themselves on the most part. HANK occasionally looks up to the TV and then back into his drink.

JOHN
Whats up with you tonight?

HANK
Nothing...

AL

Just tell him man!

HANK
Ava has been acting strange these
last few weeks.

AL
I reckon she is up to no good.

HANK begins to look upset.

JOHN
You have always thought that Al,
that’s your sister in law. No
wonder your the black sheep.

AL
Well I will change when she does...

























SEVERAL DAYS
LATER



5                CARPARK. EXT. NIGHT.

The carpark is almost deserted. The few remaining cars that are their are covered by streetlights.



JOHN and HANK are sat on the bonnets of their own cars in an otherwise deserted car park. There is empty beer cans around HANK's car. HANK is drunk and angry.

HANK
I cant believe it! How could she!?

JOHN
Relax Hank, you’ve been drinking
and your breathing hard. Don’t
forget you have had a bum ticker
since Christmas... The diabetes
doesn’t help...

HANK
I know! But John, she has been
sleeping with another man! How can
I stay calm?

JOHN
Are you sure? It’s quite an
accusation.

HANK punches the bonnet of his car and takes a swig of his beer.

HANK
Oh, I know! I watched him come out
the house. She confessed to it all
this evening!

JOHN looks alarmed

JOHN
Did you see his face? Did she give
you a name?

HANK
No, couldn’t see him properly...
And Ada wouldn’t give a name. But
if I find out I will make them pay!

JOHN’s expression reverts back to normal

JOHN
Your drunk Hank. Your pushing fifty
now. We have worked together for
twenty years. You know I have your
best interests at heart.

HANK
Heck John, maybe your right; but I
have still been screwed over by my
wife!
(MORE)


HANK (CONT'D)
I swear, I will kill the man that’s been sharing my bed with Ada!

JOHN gets off his bonnet and walks over to HANK.

JOHN
Come on Hank, your in no fit state,
its not drink that you need. It’s a
good nights sleep. Come on Hank, I
will drive you to your place.

HANK
Whatever you say.

HANK drops the beer bottle and makes his way to JOHN’s car.

HANK (CONT’D)
You better hope you haven't drank
too many yourself. You were never
the designated driver back when we
served our country.

JOHN moves round to the drivers side and opens the door.

JOHN
Haven't had a drop Hank. Your life
is better off in my hands tonight
pal.

They both get into JOHN’s car. JOHN starts the ignition and drives away.

TEN MINUTES
LATER


6                JOHNS CAR. INT. HANKS HOUSE. EXT. NIGHT.

HANKS house has no lights on and no signs of anyone being home. The gate is closed over.

JOHN pulls up outside HANKS house and puts the handbrake on. He leaves the ignition running.

HANK
Thanks for the lift, it would of
been too long a walk.

JOHN
Yea, or too short a drive.

HANK gets out of the car and makes his way to the front gate. JOHN winds his window down.



JOHN (CONT’D)
Looks like you have the place to
yourself tonight.

HANK
Yea, thanks for the chat.

HANK opens his gate and walks up the pathway. He fumbles through his pockets trying to find his keys as he makes his way to his front door. He unlocks the front door, turns and waves at JOHN (JOHN waves back) and enters into his house, closes the front door.

JOHN
I hope Ada isn't home. She would be
in A+E by the end of the night.
Hank’s a good man, but his anger...

JOHN drives off.


7                HANKS HOUSE. PASSAGE WAY/LANDING. INT. NIGHT.

HANK is resting against the back of his front door. He lifts his head up and reaches for the light switch. The landing becomes illuminated and HANK starts to climb up the stairs towards it.

HANK
You better be in Ada, I swear to
god you better be in! And you
better not have company!

HANK notices the bedroom door is half open, he flicks the light switch so the light goes off, the pushes the door open and walks inside.


8                HANKS HOUSE. BEDROOM. INT. NIGHT.

HANK stares around the room, one side seems to of cleared out. He spots a note on the bed addressed ‘Hank - I’m Sorry’

HANK opens up the letter and reads it out loud, mumbling slightly.

HANK
(Reading aloud)
Hank, I’m sorry for what I have
done, I have moved most of my
belongings back to my Mothers... I
will come collect the rest when you
are at your next snooker game so
you don't have to see me... (MORE)


HANK (CONT'D)
I really shouldn’t say this but I love you... the man I slept with is called...

The front door can be heard closing, HANK stops reading and freezes. He throws the letter back on the bed, leaves the room and runs down the stairs

HANK (CONT’D)
You fucking Bitch! Look what you
have done!

ADA
I’m sorry Hank, I'm so sorry! I
didn’t think you would be home...

HANK swings a punch at ADA but misses as she backs into a corner.

HANK
Come here you Bitch!

ADA screams as HANK repeatedly hits her. She starts to slide down the walls and into a ball on the floor, all the while trying to protect herself from HANK.

HANK grabs her by the throat and starts to strangle her.

ADA
Stop it Hank. Stop- Sto- Stop it
please...

HANK
You deserve this! I cant believe
you did it! You deserve it all!

ADA’S body starts to give out, her body movements slow down and stiffens. Eventually her body becomes limp and motionless. HANK lets go and starts to cry

HANK (CONT’D)
I’m sorry Ada. Look what you made
me do!

ONE WEEK LATER


9                JOHN’S HOUSE. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN is walking up towards his house from down the street. He look’s at his home to notice the bedroom light on; which in turn makes him smile.



He stands still once he gets to the pathway. JOHN fumbles in his pocket and picks out his keys. He proceeds to carefully unlock the door and let himself in.

JOHN
Lucy, I hope your ready for a
surprise...


10              JOHN’S HOUSE. PASSAGE WAY/STAIRS. INT. NIGHT

JOHN closes the door behind him and locks it. He hangs his coat up and looks up the stairs, the bedroom light is subtly glowing through the landing. JOHN starts to make his way up the stairs, trying to be as quite as possible.

JOHN
I hope your not asleep Lucy.

JOHN reaches the top of the stairs and turns onto the landing.


11              JOHN’S HOUSE. BEDROOM/LANDING. INT. NIGHT.

Once on the landing he turns towards the bedroom. JOHN notices the bedroom door is open a jar.

John steps forward and reaches for the door. He pushes it open while stepping inside.

JOHN
No...!

LUCY can be seen laid on the bed, white covers up to her waist and naked from the waist up. A bullet hole in her forehead and two in her chest. The bedding is soaked in her blood as she lays lifeless.

JOHN (CONT’D)
11                                      Lucy...

John manages to keep himself together and looks around the room. I strong smell of tobacco is present in the room. And an ashtray on the bedside with a few cigarette butts in it.

JOHN (CONT’D)
... I know that smell. Where do I
know it from?

JOHN walks over to the ashtray and starts inspecting one of the cigarette butts. He sniffs it.



JOHN (CONT’D)
You son of a bitch. Only Hank and
Al has ever smoked this cheap
tobacco. Hank wouldn’t do something
like this, it must be his brother.

JOHN notices a written letter underneath the ashtray; he picks it up and starts to read it. The letter reads ‘He lost his wife because of you; it's only fair you lose yours. Al’

JOHN (CONT’D)
Al... Your even gloating about it,
you crazy son of a bitch.

Police sirens can be heard in the distance and getting closer. A faint flash of their lights coming through the bedroom window.

JOHN (CONT’D)
Only just got here and theirs
sirens when only me and Al knew
about it. A set up...

JOHN puts the letter in his pocket and leaves the room. The lights and sirens are stronger by this point.

JOHN (CONT’D)
... No time to grieve, not yet.

SEVERAL WEEKS
LATER


12              BED AND BREAKFAST. ROOM. INT. NIGHT.

JOHN is sat on the edge of the bed, a lamp on a table is switched on. His hands are clasped together and he is looking down at the floor.

JOHN takes a photo of his wife out from his shirt pocket and looks at it admiringly. A tear in his eye.

JOHN
I was going home to a Goddess, an
Angel. I ruined everything for you.
I’m sorry Lucy, I'm sorry for
everything...

JOHN reaches for a bottle of Whiskey down the side of the bed and takes a big swig of it.

JOHN (CONT’D)
...It’s just not the same without
you. My Angel.



He keeps hold of the photo, stands up and throws the Whiskey on the bed. He walks to the door, takes his coat off the back of the door and puts it on. He takes one last look of the photo

JOHN (CONT’D)
I’m so sorry... I miss you. I love
you.

He places the photo inside his coat pocket and leaves, shutting the door behind him.

THE FOLLOWING
DAY


13              ABANDONED FACTORY. INT. NIGHT.

An empty factory with open doors. JOHN’s car is parked at the doors flooding the room with strong light. The light casts a long shadow of AL who is tied to a chair.

JOHN walks into the light casting a shadow over AL and obstructing AL’s view.

JOHN
Why did you do it?!

AL
Do what?

JOHN punches AL in the stomach.

JOHN
Why did you kill Lucy?!

AL
‘cause I was asked to man. You know
what it’s like to follow orders.

JOHN
That was my job, this was just
murder. You killed an Angel!

JOHN punches AL several times.

AL
Hey, hey, hey. Easy man.

JOHN
Who told you too? I want a name.

JOHN punches AL in the face. AL spits out blood.



AL
None of your business man.

JOHN punches AL in the face again.

JOHN
A name! You will talk... everyone
talks.

A few more punches land.

AL
It was Hank, you know fine well it
was Hank. And he is gunning for you
next.

JOHN
Then I will find him first. That’s
two people he has killed now, my
Angel and his own wife. Didn’t he?

AL
Of course he did, you know what his
anger is like. But me? Well, you
always said I wasn’t all their. But
do you honestly think your wife is
worth dying for after what you have
done? Yea, we all know what you
done John!

JOHN
Worth dying for? No, but worth
killing for.

JOHN pulls a gun from the inside of his coat, wraps his finger tightly around the trigger and holds it to AL’s head. JOHN hesitates then hits AL across the head with the gun, AL falls sideways onto the floor. Blood starts to drop from his nose a little.

JOHN (CONT’D)
One down. Just one last loose end.

JOHN keeps hold of his gun, turns away and starts to walk down towards his car.


14              CEMETERY. EXT. NIGHT.

The Cemetery is quiet and poorly lit. Their is some light rain. The gravestones are all in rows, some have flowers beside them.



JOHN is stood next to Lucy’s gravestone. One hand gripping neck of a half empty whiskey bottle. His hat keeps the rain from hitting his face and his coat keeps him dry.

Lucy’s grave reads “To a loving Wife, you will be missed more each day. ‘They can no longer die; for they are like the angels. 14/08/1974 - 04/04/2014”

JOHN
Its been over a month now Lucy... I
miss you... Look at me; I'm a
mess...

JOHN takes a guzzle of the whiskey and drops the bottle afterwards. He kneels down onto one knee and carefully rests his hand against Lucy’s gravestone.

JOHN (CONT’D)
Its not the same, without you... I
don't know why you died, Lucy. I
don't know why and I don't know
how. But when I find out who did
this, and I will, it won't be quick
and easy like they did with you.
No; it will be long, and nasty.
Real nasty... I’m sorry Lucy, I
will find those responsible...

JOHN grasps tightly around the gravestone to help himself up, standing upright and wiping his hands down his coat. He stares at the gravestone one last time.

JOHN (CONT’D)
Goodbye Lucy, I'm sorry...

JOHN turns away from the gravestone. Takes a cigarette out of his pocket, places it in his mouth, takes a lighter out from the pocket on the other side of his coat. He lights the cigarette and starts to walk away.

SHORTLY AFTERWARDS


15              PUB. INT. NIGHT.

A quiet Bar with one member of Bar Staff present, four stools/seats are lined up along the bar, with a couple of tables behind with seats. Two stools are took by public, then one empty, and JOHN on the fourth stool.

A TV is on in the background, but too quiet to make out. The two men keep to themselves with a pint each occasionally taking sips.



JOHN downs the last of his whiskey, and heavily places the glass on the counter.

JOHN
Another whiskey. Put it on my tab.

BARSTAFF
Not a problem Sir, you watching the
game? Falcons are winning,

JOHN
No, not tonight.

BARSTAFF nods and begins to measure the whiskey. He gets the drink ready and swaps it with the empty glass JOHN had placed down, but leaving the empty alongside the other 2 empty glasses.




Thanks.



JOHN (CONT’D)


BARSTAFF

I haven’t seen anybody drink it so quick. Do you mind if I ask-

JOHN
You can mind your own damn
business.

JOHN drinks the whiskey in one go this time, and again places it on the counter. He pushes the glass towards BARSTAFF.

JOHN (CONT’D)
One more, then I'm going to see my
Gorgeous wife.

JOHN glances up at the TV.

BARSTAFF
Not a problem. Your tab comes to
fourteen pound’s.

BARSTAFF puts the drink next to JOHN.

BARSTAFF (CONT’D)
I’m sure she will of missed you
Sir.

JOHN’s attention quickly focus back on BARSTAFF.

JOHN
Not as much as I miss her. LUCY was
perfect. Smelt like heaven. Made me
feel special. Lucy...



JOHN downs his drink, shuffles through his pockets and places a ten and five pound note on the counter.

JOHN (CONT’D)
...Keep the change...

BARSTAFF collects the money and walks over to the till. While this happens JOHN gets off his stool and walks out of the bar and onto the street.




16              PUB. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN is exiting the main door of the pub; and turns off down a road. He quickly turns again to go down an alleyway.





17              ALLEYWAY #1. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN clenches his fist and punches one of the bins that is propped against the walls in the alleyway.

JOHN
It’s my fault Lucy. It’s all my
fault.

He proceeds to slam both fists against the wall, slowly resting his head on it, between his arms.

JOHN (CONT’D)
No... Not this time... Hank did
this... On your feet old man,

His hands unclench and the palms slide down the wall and drop to his side. He also drops down onto his knees.

JOHN (CONT’D)
...Hank did this!

JOHN’s fists clench again, stands up and readjusts his coat and continues to slowly walk down the alleyway.



18              ALLEYWAY #2. EXT. NIGHT.

This alleyway is darker than the previous; with little light apart from a couple lights from the backs of buildings and a lamppost coming from each side of the alleyway.

JOHN continues to walk down the alleyway. He takes the cigarette box from a coat pocket, he takes one of the cigarettes and places it between his lips, putting the box back in his pocket he fumbles around in his other pocket, patting his coat down to check for the lighter.

JOHN
Come on, you bastard... Their you
are!

JOHN pulls out a lighter from the other coat pocket and lights his cigarette, dropping the lighter back in his pocket. JOHN takes a long drag and exhales.

Another DRUNKMAN can be seen coming at JOHN’s direction, he is singing to himself, but mumbling mostly due to drunkenness.

JOHN (CONT’D)
What a clown. I can hear how heavy
your breathing is already...

They get close and make eye contact. DRUNKMAN barges straight into JOHN’s shoulder and stumbles forward a couple of steps.

DRUNKMAN
Hey! What you playing at?

DRUNKMAN turns and aggressively pushes JOHN. Taken by surprise by this, JOHN stumbles quite easily onto the floor. JOHN’s cigarette falls out of his mouth and lands on the floor.

DRUNKMAN (CONT’D)
Your going to pay for that old man!

DRUNKMAN takes a knife from the back of his trousers and points it JOHN. JOHN picks himself up onto his hands and knees. He clenches his fists as h does so.

JOHN
You’ve been drinking, its made you
careless... shouldn’t be so
careless.

DRUNKMAN
Look at you! You cant even swing a
punch old man!



JOHN
Sure I can.

JOHN leaps up and punches DRUNKMAN; he collapses on the floor in a heap. DRUNKMAN looks to be unconscious. JOHN holds his hand rubbing over the knuckles of the hand he just punched with. He looks in pain.

JOHN (CONT’D)
You broke my hand now... shouldn’t
be so careless.

JOHN turns away, picks up his cigarette, takes a drag and exhales. He continues to walk down the alleyway.

JOHN get to the end of the alleyway and turns right onto another street.




19              STREET. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN starts to walk down this street, where it is quite with nobody about.

JOHN (V.O.)
So, why this gut feeling I'm going
about it all wrong? Would of been
better off if Ada kept it all a
secret. Poor Hank...




20              CLUB STREET #2. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN is walking past a series of pubs, clubs and takeaway shops, with drunk people shouting and laughing at each other as they go past or wait for their food. Nobody interacts with JOHN but some do glance at him.

JOHN keeps his head down and doesn't speak to anybody. He tries his best to weave around groups of people that pass by.





21              STRIP CLUB STREET. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN turns onto the street. Its quite apart from the strip club further down the road. A few of the dancers are coming in and out of the club for fresh air and customers. A guard is stood outside the building keeping still and quiet.



JOHN lights up another cigarette and walks down the road. His cigarette goes out in the wind. He takes his lighter out and stops still, just outside the strip club, and relights his cigarette.

STRIPPER
Hey Sugar, you looking for a good
night?

JOHN
Not tonight Babe. Things to do.

JOHN takes a drag and exhales.

STRIPPER
Not a problem Sugar, you come back
with Al and Hank you hear?

JOHN
Sure.

JOHN continues walking past the strip club and down the street.




22              STREET - RESIDENTIAL. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN is walking down the street, passing several houses. He passes a man walking his dog and keeps his head down. The dog sniffs him before his walker encourages him to keep going.

JOHN wraps his coat a little tighter as the temperature continues to drop. His breath is visible in the air. He lights up one last cigarette for the night. He throws the cigarette box to floor.

JOHN
Might as well be the last one...
This will soon be over. One loose
end.





23              HANKS HOUSE. EXT. NIGHT.

JOHN walks up to HANKS’S front gate. The living room light is on and the TV can be heard from here, but nothing can is clear. A shadow is cast upon the closed blinds of HANK sat in a chair drinking Whiskey.

JOHN looks up at the house.



JOHN (V.O.)
Here we go. One last loose end...

JOHN pulls the gun out of his pocket, drops his arm to his side and re-wraps his fingers round the grip. JOHN then walks up the path and lets himself into the house, he closes the door as quietly as possible.

JOHN’S shadow appears on the blinds of the window pointing a gun at HANK. The sound of the TV cuts out as HANK raises a gun from his seat.

HANK (O.S.)
You son of a Bitch! You have some
nerves showing up here. Saves me
the trouble I guess.

JOHN (O.S.)
It ends now Hank. Nobody else has
to die. One last loose end.

HANK (O.S.)
So this is what it comes down to
eh? You caused all this you know.

JOHN (O.S.)
I know. I’m sorry Hank. I’m sorry
Lucy.

The lights go off and the shadows can no longer be seen. A gun shot can heard as a flash lights up the living room.

JOHN (V.O.)
I’m sorry Lucy. One last loose end.
See you soon my Angel.



THE END

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